Defeating Self Defeat

Defeating Self Defeat

12 Ways to Get Out of Your Own Way

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  • Episodes
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1 h 45 min
13 Episodes

One of the greatest tragedies is having your life be less than it could be. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor of psychiatry and FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer, as well as a widely read author who has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, The Wall Street Journal, and Business Insider. Partly adapted from his best-selling book Get Out of Your Own Way, these 12 lessons will help you defeat the self-defeating behavior that is keeping your life from being what it could be.

What You'll Learn

  • Strategies for overcoming procrastination
  • Better ways of relating to other people
  • Skills for approaching major problems and opportunities  
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  • Dr. Mark Goulston
    Dr. Mark Goulston
    Former FBI Negotiator Trainer & UCLA Professor
13 Episodes

What if you’re not lazy, you’re just lonely?

Try out the 72-hour rule for the times when you feel offended or hurt.

Reparent yourself to stop being afraid of failure.

Widen your perspective of past experiences to evaluate whether you should or shouldn’t quit current (or future) undertakings.

It’s impossible. So why do we try so hard? Learning why will help us to stop.

Learn why we hold grudges in the first place, and how forgiveness is accepting the apology you will never receive.

Practice the three A’s of an effective apology.

Use the Traffic Light Rule to stop talking before the other person stops listening.

Support groups solve the problem that self-pity is trying and failing to solve.

Try out the 72-hour rule to let breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.

Use surgical empathy to turn “No” into an opportunity, instead of a source of awkwardness.

Find courage using stories from your past to unlock the way forward.

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